Recovery through Surgery

When I had 5 years clean and sober I faced my biggest fear in recovery—needing another surgery. Prior to my sobriety, I spent more than 15 years in and out of the hospital for many surgeries and prescribed narcotics. Eventually I found I was well into my disease of addiction and the fall was hard. I spent 90 days in residential treatment. By the Grace of My Higher Power I have maintained my Sobriety by my willingness to adhere to a Recovery Program that included AA, a Sponsor, and a strong 12 step program.

Recently, it was determined that I would have to under go three very complex surgeries in 4 months. I turned to my program of Recovery to overcome my fear of facing surgery, pain, narcotics and months of possible complications.

The first thing I did was increase my attendance at AA meetings. I spoke up, shared and let other recovering people help me work through it. I involved my sponsor and discussed a plan to keep me safe.

The second thing, I involved a medical team, including my surgeon, some nursing friends, my friend an Addictionologist, and my husband. As a recovering alcoholic and addict, it was very important that I have nothing to do with managing or dispensing my pain medications.

I learned so much from this experience. I learned that when narcotics are taken as ordered, they help the pain! I was so afraid that they would awaken the beast lying in wait for me. I was taught the difference between addiction and dependence. I also came to believe that I didn’t have to suffer because I was an addict. I learned to be honest about my pain needs. In the past my pain was maximized, now I had more challenges in being honest about my pain.

During these long trying months I did have several complications. There were times I became discouraged, I pressed in closer to my program and the counseling that I had in place. Until I was able to get out to meetings, some wonderful AA women brought AA meetings to my bedside.

Now the time came that I had one last mountain to climb. I had been on monitored pain medications and, as was inevitable, my body was dependent. My surgeon turned over my care to a wonderful clinic called Beyond Addictions that helped me detox from the opiates. Make no mistake it was tough! How did I do it? By NEVER, NEVER forgetting or doubting how much my sobriety means to me; by NEVER, NEVER forgetting my desire to stay present for me first, for my husband and my children. I never want to lose the connection recovery gave me to my Higher Power, whom I call God.

Today I am back to work, living life, and healing more every day. Today I am drug free; therefore truly free to be me!